HG Awareness Day 2015

In honor of HG Awareness Day, we had our first annual HG Survivors Meet Up. When I was pregnant with Katelynn and battling depression during my third trimester, Sarah (an HG survivor herself) visited me with her 9 month old son in tow. She listened to my story, empathized with me, offered encouragement and prayed the sweetest, most compassionate prayer. At that moment, I could feel the Lord’s presence during a time I felt very abandoned. It was wonderful to reconnect with her. Thank you Sarah for touching my life and the lives of so many others’!

HG Meet up 2015

We’re Adopting a Boy!

James 1:27 “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” 

I’ve always had a heart for underprivileged people, especially children. As a social worker, I have worked with children and adults who have endured horrific abuse, neglect, and trauma. Some of the saddest cases I saw were with foster children who were taken out of the home due to abuse. These children suffer so much because they move in and out of foster homes multiple times. I knew that one day I would want to become a foster mom or adopt. 

We have two beautiful girls but the road to bring them here was horrific. I battled a rare pregnancy disorder called hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) with both pregnancies. HG occurs in about 1-2% of pregnant women and causes excessive nausea and vomiting which leads to dehydration, fatigue, malnutrition, and a general inability to function. I lost 15-20 pounds with each pregnancy and endured home IV treatment for one to two months. Needless to say, pregnancy has been a very traumatic experience. The chances of getting HG with subsequent pregnancies once you have been diagnosed is estimated to be 60-80%. 

With all of these things to consider, we spent countless hours this year debating and praying about whether getting pregnant again would be the best choice for our family. I was especially worried about how the hyperemesis would affect the girls. With HG, I knew that I would not be able to take care of the girls due to the chronic debilitating nausea and vomiting. They would lose their mom physically but also emotionally. The reality of facing depression again as I battle HG was also a big concern. 

Then we heard about the Foster Care and Adoption Summit at Grace Baptist and decided to attend on November 15th, 2014. At this point God was opening our hearts to the possibility of fostering to adopt. We knew that international adoption was very expensive and thought that financially it would make more sense to do a domestic adoption by fostering. After the FCA Summit, we felt convicted to pursue an international adoption through Korea! 

We learned that many babies are relinquished at birth by unwed mothers who do not want to carry the cultural shame of being a single mother in Korea. There is a need for international adoptive families due to the stigma of adoption in Korea. Because of this stigma, there are not enough domestic adoptive families willing to take care of all the foster children in Korea. We also found out that the majority of foster children in Korea are boys because most families in Korea choose to adopt girls. 

In light of thinking about all these things, God spoke to us clearly. How could we glorify him in our family planning? Why not bring a Korean foster child home and in this very concrete way meet the needs of a helpless child as well as live out the gospel while expanding our family? 

The biggest hurdle to making our leap of faith was – “How are we going to pay for this?!” But God opened up our hearts to trust Him regarding this matter. How can we compare thousands of dollars to a child’s life? If the Lord wants us to open our family to a child, then surely HE will be the one to provide the means! 

In February 2014, we were matched with a six month old boy. We are naming him Ethan! He is now 9 months. We are done with all the paperwork and we are now waiting for the Korean government to issue us an emigration permit. We are guessing it will take another year before we can bring Ethan home.

How can you help?

  1. Pray for us – Please keep us in your prayers. We really need them! International adoption with Korea is a long process, estimated to take about 2 years to complete. There is an incredible amount of paperwork that we need to complete. Please pray for us to be diligent in completing all the necessary documents and that everything will go smoothly. Please pray that we trust God with every step of the way, trusting that He is sovereign. 
  2. Pray for the baby – please pray for God to protect the baby and to place him in a loving and safe foster home until we are able to bring him home. 
  3. Finances – Our next biggest need is financial support. International adoption with Korea is estimated to cost about $40,000. If you find it in your heart to support us financially, you can visit our Adopt Together account at adopttogether.org/bringingethanhome



xmas 2014 pic


Battling Hyperemesis Again…

The media has been all over Princess Kate’s second pregnancy. Sadly, it looks like she has hyperemesis again. Going through two HG pregnancy nightmares myself, my heart goes out to her. Having to care for a child while suffering from HG is the most challenging part of a 2nd HG pregnancy. I experienced a lot of guilt about not being there for Annelise when I was battling HG for the second time. When I was pregnant with Katelynn, I wrote an article for the NY Daily News – an open letter to Kate regarding HG. 

The Duke And Duchess Of Cambridge Tour Australia And New Zealand - Day 1

Here are some tips for women going through HG for the second time –

1) Have your husband or other family members take care of your child full-time so that you can rest and get better.

2) Don’t compare your current symptoms with your first pregnancy. Each pregnancy is different. Accept the fact that this pregnancy is different and may be worse than the first.

3) It is totally normal to have a lot of guilt about not being able to care for your first child but remember that children are resilient and once your HG is done, things will get back to normal. You are providing the best possible gift (the gift of life) – a new sibling for your child!

4) Even though you went through this once already, each time you battle HG is just as difficult. Get as much support from family and friends as you possibly can.

5) Make sure you find a good OB who understands or is at least empathetic regarding hyperemesis. Advocate for yourself because you know firsthand how bad it can get! 


Glory in Suffering


Mother’s Day has passed and today is HG Awareness Day. Almost a year and a half has passed since I suffered from hyperemesis gravidarum for the second time. HG is a rare, debilitating pregnancy disorder which occurs in about 1-2% of pregnant women. It is a disorder which is commonly misunderstood and routinely minimized by the public as well as by the medical community. Often times family members and friends are clueless as to the severity of the disorder which complicates matters and the HG sufferer suffers alone and in isolation.

HG is characterized by severe and excessive nausea and vomiting which can lead to dehydration (and subsequent visits to the ER for IV treatment), weight loss due to the excessive vomiting and inability to hold down food or water, hyper olfaction (extremely strong sense of smell), fatigue, lightheadedness, and overall inability to function due to the severity of nausea. HG causes disruption in day to day activities – inability to care for oneself, inability to work, inability to care for children, inability to shower, etc, etc! Many HG sufferers are forced to stay on bed rest simply to avoid movement which makes the nausea worse.

HG symptoms are the absolute worst the first trimester. Some women find relief after the first trimester but many HG sufferers still battle severe nausea/vomiting to the very end of their pregnancy. Severe cases require in-home IV treatment or a PICC line for continuous IV fluids to make sure the HG sufferer is hydrated.

Heavy doses of anti-emetics (anti-nausea med’s) are given – Zofran, Phenergan and Compazine. The most severe case would require a feeding tube so that the woman is not completely malnourished. Fortunately most HG pregnancies end with successful full term births! However, I have heard of cases in which the pregnancy was terminated by the doctor due to the severity of the disorder in order to preserve the mom’s life.

Nausea seems like such a harmless thing at first glance but imagine being so nauseous that you cannot stand the smell of your own, dear husband. Walking around or trying to take a shower becomes an insurmountable task because you end up puking due to the motion. I have described HG as a 9 month bout of severe food poisoning or stomach flu.

The most challenging part about HG is not the physical suffering (as difficult as that is!) but the emotional toll it takes on the sufferer. Many women with HG suffer from depression due to the chronic medical issues day in and day out. Many women contemplate abortion as well as suicide due to the immense burden that excessive nausea/vomiting and dehydration take on the body and subsequently on the mind and soul.

My journey with HG started with my first pregnancy in November 2011. We didn’t even have a chance to rejoice in our first pregnancy because of how fast HG ravaged my body. I had no clue that this nightmare would hit me. But I found out very quickly that my pregnancy was not going to be normal when I threw up everything I tried to eat very early on in my first trimester. My mom kept insisting that I try to eat for the baby’s sake but I would get extremely frustrated knowing that it didn’t matter what I ate, my body was simply rejecting it! I remember telling my OB about my excessive nausea/vomiting and she brushed it off, saying that it was just normal morning sickness and that I should feel much better soon.

She, unfortunately, was very, very wrong. It got to the point that I was starving, not eating anything, but still vomiting! I was vomiting water and bile. I was on bed rest and the nausea was very relentless and there 24/7. My only relief from the nausea was to sleep. I remember very distinctly on Christmas day of 2011 just vomiting all day (maybe 10 times). I felt very out of it. I stepped onto our scale and was shocked to see that I had lost 15 pounds! My gut told me that something was very, very wrong. This could not be normal morning sickness.

We went to the ER that day and I was immediately admitted to the hospital and diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum. The doctor ordered a PICC line (a long term IV line) for me and set up in-home IV treatment. I received in-home IV treatment for one whole month before I was able to start eating normally. During this time, Danny faithfully took care of me and even administered the anti-nausea medications through the PICC line for me daily. After my first trimester, I felt much better and was able to go back to work. I still had mild-grade nausea and had nausea till the day I delivered. Annelise was 8 pounds, 5 ounces – a healthy and big girl!

My second battle with HG was much, much harder than the first. I remember finding out I was pregnant and feeling angry that it happened so soon (Annelise was not even a year old)! I was not ready to face hyperemesis again. I hoped and prayed that my second time would be easier. But those prayers were not answered and my second HG pregnancy was an even darker nightmare than the first.

My symptoms were worse and lasted the whole pregnancy. I lost a total of 20 pounds with my second pregnancy. Again, the doctor ordered home health care and I received in-home IV treatment for two, long months. I hoped that by the end of the first trimester, I would feel much better. But no relief came and I continued to vomit through my second and even my third trimester. There were occasional good days where I felt good enough to go out and eat. But those were really rare. Most days were spent at home, in bed, watching television around the clock just to keep my mind distracted from the nausea. I had insomnia at night due to the nausea and would stay up till 3 am.

I was unable to take care of Annelise so I stayed with my parents for several months so that they could take care of me and Annelise. I was unable to shower regularly during my first trimester so my mom would wash my hair for me once a week. My hair would get so tangled; I felt utterly inhuman, like an animal, like a zombie.

I battled depression with my first pregnancy but the depression with my 2nd pregnancy was worse due to the longer lasting symptoms and my frustrations that I wasn’t feeling better. Every day, I wanted to die just to escape the merciless nausea. Every day, I asked my husband to shoot me, to end my misery. Every day, I felt the temptation to abort the pregnancy just to feel normal again. The spiritual battle was enormous and I am so thankful for God’s grace, the unconditional love of my husband and parents, and many friends’ prayers – for protecting me not only physically but spiritually.

Even after giving birth to a very healthy and even bigger baby (Katelynn was a whopping 9 pound, 5 ounces!), I had mild-grade nausea that lasted a month! I was petrified that this nausea would never leave me, but it did. And I’m grateful to have survived this ordeal. I’m thankful for my two, lovely girls – my reward and my gift after the suffering. If there is anything I’ve learned from all of this – it is this – that God is good all the time.

This is the lesson that Job and Joseph learned. This is the lesson God forced me to learn. There is glory and a purpose to our suffering because it molds us into Christlikeness. Suffering from HG has taught me to appreciate life and health. It has brought me a greater compassion and empathy for those suffering from chronic medical illnesses.

I am reminded of these verses from the book of Job which ministered to me during the long, dark nights I battled insomnia and nausea.

Job 1:8-12

“Did you notice my servant Job?” the Lord asked. “There is no one on earth as faithful and good as he is. He worships me and is careful not to do anything evil.”

Satan replied, “Would Job worship you if he got nothing out of it? 10 You have always protected him and his family and everything he owns. You bless everything he does, and you have given him enough cattle to fill the whole country. 11 But now suppose you take away everything he has—he will curse you to your face!”

12 “All right,” the Lord said to Satan, “everything he has is in your power, but you must not hurt Job himself.” So Satan left.

At the end of all of this, I still have my faith in Christ and that was the great test that Satan requested and that God allowed in Job’s life.

I hope that you have a better understanding of how debilitating hyperemesis is. If you have the means, please consider making a donation to the HER Foundation at helpher.org. We need to raise awareness as well as funds to research this disorder in order to find the cause and cure!

I hope my story inspires you to fight whatever battle you’re going through and to come out stronger at the end of it!



Mother’s Day and HG Awareness Day

This Mother’s Day, I am so grateful to be a mom of two, healthy HG miracle babies. Annelise is almost 22 months and Katelynn just turned 4 months! One of the things I learned when I underwent hyperemesis is that we cannot take our health for granted and that it is truly a blessing from the Lord to be healthy. I’m still so amazed that despite my 15-20 pound weight loss with each pregnancy, Annelise and Katelynn are both so healthy…and so big!

May 15th is HG Awareness Day. If you have the means, please consider giving the gift of a donation to an organization near and dear to my heart – the Hyperemesis Education Research (HER) foundation. www.helpher.org

I hope and pray that we can one day find a cure to this devastating disease so that pregnancy does not have to turn into a nightmare!


Postpartum Reflections

I am now almost a month postpartum and I still have a trace of nausea. It’s amazing how persistent the nausea has been with this pregnancy. But I am happy to say that the nausea is very mild so I am quite functional now! I have so much more energy compared to when I was pregnant since the nausea is almost gone. I’ve been able to shower regularly, run errands, go grocery shopping, wash the dishes, fold laundry, enjoy eating meat – day to day things that we all take for granted. I’m truly grateful for every HG-free day that I’ve been blessed with. I feel like I’ve been given a second chance at life – I feel so alive and free now!

Taking care of Kate and Lisi has been super busy! Finding time to just sit down and write is getting harder and harder. I will continue to occasionally update this blog as various topics regarding hyperemesis arise. But for the most part, I will be taking a break from blogging here.

In honor of starting life afresh HG-free, I have started a new blog called myriad impressions. It will be a mommy blog in addition to being an eclectic collection of things that inspire me.


Our much anticipated baby Katelynn arrived on January 8th, 2013 at 1:06 a.m.! She was 9 pounds 4 ounces at birth! My labor/delivery was quite difficult. We got to the hospital at 8 am on January 7th for a scheduled induction due to polyhydroamnios (high amniotic fluid level). I was induced at 9 am and hoped that my water would break naturally. When it didn’t, the doctor broke my water for me at 3:30 pm.

I asked for the epidural when the contractions started to get painful. I didn’t realize that Cedars Sinai is a teaching hospital. The anesthesiologist was a resident and was given step by step instructions by the teaching doctor. It made me quite nervous to hear that! Unfortunately, the dose that they gave me was too high so my blood pressure dropped significantly. I got really dizzy and lightheaded and threw up (of course!). They gave me medicine to bring my blood pressure back up but my blood pressure kept dropping so the anesthesiologist decided to shut off the epidural completely.

Then I started to really feel the pain! So I asked for another dose of the epidural. But the second anesthesiologist was busy and by the time he got to me, I was so much pain! Finally when the epidural kicked in, I was completely numb which made pushing quite a challenge. My OB thought I would deliver by midnight. But I was not fully dilated till well past midnight. I pushed for about 30 minutes (and of course threw up a couple times while pushing!) and Katelynn was born at 1:06 a.m.! She looks just like Annelise when she was born!

Because my 20 week ultrasound showed a couple soft markers for Down’s syndrome, the PEDS team (a group of resident doctors) came to evaluate Katelynn at birth. They told me that Katelynn does not meet all 5 criteria for Down’s but that she has a few signs. It was disconcerting. We sent out an email to our friends asking for their prayers. The next day, the hospital pediatrician came to examine Kate and she said that she does not believe Kate has Down’s! Apparently the PEDS team was being super thorough and cautious. We were so relieved and thankful.

Kate is truly a testament to God’s faithfulness – that despite all the weight I lost, He protected her! I’m so amazed at how healthy and big she is! So far, Kate has been so calm and such a good sleeper. I feel very blessed. I was very disappointed when my nausea didn’t immediately disappear after the delivery but I am doing so much better now. My nausea has reduced to a minimal level. My appetite is back (thanks to nursing) and I have been eating well! I am finally starting to feel normal again. Even though I’m sleep-deprived, it’s amazing how much energy I have now that the nausea has significantly reduced.

To all my fellow HG mamas out there, please don’t give up and hang in there. It’s such a long, difficult road to be on but the reward is so worth it! When I look into Kate’s precious face, I fall in love over and over again.