Even so…

I am 26 weeks pregnant with my second baby and I’m feeling trapped inside a prison I can’t get out of. I’m confined inside my own body which has forsaken me miserably again and again throughout this pregnancy.

Today I was looking forward to my friend’s bridal shower. I went shopping for her gift on Thursday. I wrapped it all up, got dressed, put on my makeup and was ready to walk out the door when an unexpected and sudden wave of nausea smacked me. BAM! I went to go lie down in bed and my husband asked me when I was leaving…I told him I wasn’t sure if I should go. I played various scenarios in my mind…if I were to go, I would probably feel miserable the whole time and what if I threw up during the bridal shower or passed out?

I decided not to go…which was a good thing because a minute later, I ran to the bathroom and threw up my breakfast. (Sigh) I cannot believe that at 26 weeks I am still vomiting and battling hyperemesis. The absolute unpredictability of the nausea and vomiting is one of the maddening things about hyperemesis during the later months of pregnancy.

I decided to publish this blog to:

1) Just vent on those days I feel absolutely hopeless,

2) To be a resource to any pregnant mamas who are going through the same thing (hang in there!),

3) To educate the public about Hyperemesis Gravidarum and to clear up common misconceptions about HG,

4) To praise God “even so.” One of my favorite hymns is “It Is Well With My Soul.” And one of the most profound lines of the hymn reads “Even so, it is well with my soul.” The “even so” is certainly hard to swallow – no, impossible to swallow…but it is well with my soul because Jesus is the one who will carry me through the darkest storms of life.

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